I have disagreements and conflicts with a colleagues on my job all the time. She is a lead teacher. I always get called on to do her job, or she gets upset, because my idea is better than what she opposed. Then she can never remember when she said something. Let's not for get she always have a personal problem, as if I don't. I have tried to figure this woman out, but I have came up empty.
I think one strategy that I can say is that I have learned to is to listen closely when she speaks. My other strategy is not to be ready to attack or assume what she is going to do, before she does it. I have in the past found myself tensing up when I see her approaching me. I think this body language occurs, because we always bump heads. I have suggested that my colleague, not hide behind what she has said. I have offer her to record herself when she speaks, so there is no miscommunication.
I have looked for broader range of solutions, like let someone else take that position. I have suggested that she say what is on her mind, and not take it to individuals. I have asked my supervisor to speak to her. My supervisor says, "This is our last year with her." Really?
I can use the 3R's by being more respectable to my colleague. For as response, I can show that I am more caring, and not let my body language show. I can work on our relationship, by spending some one on one time with my colleague. I would like to be able to work together without confrontation.
Hello Guadalupe,
ReplyDeleteNice to read your post this week again. One thing I learned from the video of Dr Rosenberg (YouTube, 2012) is about how to resolve conflict through non violet communication (NVC). This was really an eye opener for me because he said to resolve conflict we should not judge or evaluate the person but just observe the behavior.
So for your colleague,the empathy approach, which is about active listening, that you are already doing is good. Also, I will suggest you also use the Win-Win, Co-operative power, Managing emotions, willingness to resolve, mapping options and development of options are all approaches as presented in the 12 skills of conflict resolution by the Conflict Resolution network (2017).
In the Win-Win approach, you will sort cooperation her by using a joint problem solving approach and no adversarial attack and defense in the course of the communication. This will help to redirect the course of the conflict. A win/win approach can work in this scenario and is an ethical strategy of conflict resolution that involves identifying underlying needs, acknowledging individual differences, accepting and shifting positions based on information shared, and attacking the problem instead of the persons involved (Conflict Resolution Network, 2017).
Reference
Conflict Resolution Network (2017, April 9th) CR Kit, Introduction - Conflict is the Stuff of Life [Website] Retrieved from http://www.crnhq.org/content.aspx?file=66138|37449y#win-win
YouTube. (2012, Jan 5). FULL - Nonviolent Communication Workshop - Marshall Rosenberg (2000) (Multi Subtitles). [YouTube Video] Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEqmZ2E1o64
Thank you for the information. I am really trying to get along with her. She is so full of drama.
ReplyDeleteHello Guadalupe,
ReplyDeleteTaking the third side helped me deal with my coworker. The Third Side is a way of looking at the conflicts around us not just from one side or the other but from the larger perspective of the surrounding community. You can have natural sympathies for one side or the other and still choose to take the Third Side.
Taking the Third Side means:
Seeking to understand both sides of the conflict
Encouraging a process of cooperative negotiation
Supporting a wise solution – one that fairly meets the essential
needs of both sides and the community
Great Post!
Great post,
ReplyDeleteI think that the approaches that you have made are great, we must remember that everyone we work with will not be our friends, but we all must have an understanding of our purpose and that is to serve the children and families in our care. if you stick with that thought in your mind it will change your behavior when interacting with you co worker.